What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
