Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
