just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
