Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize