I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
