He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
