my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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