i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize