Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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