And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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