i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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