I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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