mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
