how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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