one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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