Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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