Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
