So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
