all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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