Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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