Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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