community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my shit smells like andre
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
