a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
