Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
