And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
