he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
