i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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