I'm so fucking centered right now
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
And the cops told us we were all naked.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
