So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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