My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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