Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
