I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
