you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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