nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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