He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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