I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
