new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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