lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
