I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
