Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Im part way to drunk.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
