I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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