Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
