I think I died a long time ago.
Barsexuality is the new black.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
