This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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