Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
