Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
