my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
