i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
