come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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