Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
