I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
