I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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