They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Boobs speak an international language.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
