I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
