She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
