hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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