Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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